ey i'm blogging here a blog by alex daily

Movie Review: “Mufasa: The Lion King” (2024)

Was expecting this to be bad, was not expecting this to be this tragically prequel-brained.

I do try not to fall into the same old conversation about these “live-action” Disney remakes and their followups, right, but, like, fuck, man. Consistently they’re worse, duller versions of all-time classics that cost all the money in the world to make and have nothing to say.

What does the director of Moonlight think his take on this world is? What does Barry Jenkins think he’s adding to the history of these stories?

Sigh. What’s good about this one is what’s always good about these, what’s bad about this one is what’s always bad about these.

But like. As an artist, I try not to ask art to justify itself — art inherently has value just for being made, just for you having made it — but when it costs half a quarter billion dollars to make, I don’t think it’s unfair to ask it to have a reason to exist.

Though I suppose at half a quarter billion dollars, from this company, it can’t afford to have something to say because it needs to appeal to literally everyone and their cat to be worth making… So imagine if it actually had something to say. The thought is genuinely unfathomable.

Any time Timon and Pumbaa aren’t on screen having a fight for their lives with the fourth wall, I’m sat here asking, where are Timon and Pumbaa?

Since Disney didn’t fucking bother making 2024’s Mufasa: The Lion King a new movie, either, my review is entirely compiled of bits from my previous reviews of modern Disney remakes. Also on Letterboxd.

Movie Review: “Kraven the Hunter” (2024)

This is a slightly expanded, lightly edited version of my review (Letterboxd, Mastodon) from right after I saw it last night.

Is 2024’s Kraven the Hunter good? No. Because these movies never are. Of course it’s not good.

Think about what this is for a second. 2024’s Kraven the Hunter is a Sony-made Marvel movie about the guy who hunts Spider-Man… that don’t got Spider-Man in it. Exactly like how Madame Web just aggressively didn’t have Spider-Man in it, just like how Venom and Morbius didn’t have Spider-Man in them. You already know what this movie is. To ask anything different of it is like expecting the weird store-brand M&Ms that are a little too sweet to change.

“Sony’s Universe of Marvel Characters,” the SUMC, was, in the end, for that’s the terms in which we can talk about it now that we’ve been told it’s over, always a cinematic universe desperately searching for a Spider-Man, and it just never found him. It had Venom, who looked weirdly like Spider-Man’s black suit for no apparent reason, it had Spider-Man’s mum and Spider-Man’s uncle, and a guy who looked like if Spider-Man had an emo phase. And now it has Kraven the Hunter, who, I’m not kidding, gets bit, injected with modified animal fluids in the process, gets powers from that, learns lessons about what to do with power from a father figure, and then stalks around the world with spider-like moves. It’s not subtle. He crawls, as they say, walls.

But it never actually found a Spider-Man.

Outside of the fluke of the first Venom, these movies never really did numbers. When Sony got trolled into rereleasing Morbius it might actually, somehow, have done negative numbers. I found a lot of joy in the gonzo madness of the first Venom, and I’ll defend all three of those as fun rides, but these movies, they were never really for anyone. Nobody was jonesing for a movie about the guy whose one good story fundamentally has to have Spider-Man in it without Spider-Man in it. Maybe there’s a subreddit out there somewhere where they lose their minds over these, I don’t know.

Everyone, to get back to the movie, kind of understands the assignment. Which I think was probably… to make a bad movie. There’s fun bits. A good fight, a good chase. The CGI occasionally makes Kraven feel weightless in the world, and characters regularly teleport or know things they shouldn’t, but I liked several of the action sequences, and though it never actually intentionally managed to make me laugh, occasionally a body got flung around in a slapsticky way that got me. The closest comparison might be to the kind of generic action movies we see at Sneak Preview sometimes.

2024’s Kraven the Hunter marks the end of this particular side story. The end, fin, of a franchise that always felt like it was made to please the executives of another universe, one where not Iron Man but Daredevil and Elektra were the breakout superhero hits of the 00s.

So long to the SUMC. It never made sense in this universe.

But fuck, I really think I’ll kinda fucking miss it.

Thinking back on Annie Forever

Just a quick little retrospective to mark the changing of the seasons, as it were.

Annie Forever ended on September 2nd, 2024, after 82 unmissed daily updates. That’s a pretty good score for me these days. All strips are and will continue to be available online for as long as possible, but they’re also available in the form of a neat little packaged PDF/CBZ ebook that you can buy for €5 on Gumroad whenever you want, to keep forever, even if syndicate lawyers get mad at me even though Annie is in the public domain and I’m definitely allowed to do this. Oodles of bonus features include commentary on every strip, analysis, some insight into the origin of the Knife and Dime, and into my process.

Here are some things I learned doing Annie Forever.

  • This is the first webcomics project I’ve started and finished exactly according to plan in my adult life. Everything else has just sort of fizzled out, even things that ran for hundreds of strips. Turns out: It feels very good to actually finish something, and that’s a high I would like to keep chasing.
  • Updating regularly was, honestly, really good for my brain. Getting up at 7am to move the image and the newspost to the right folder first thing every morning isn’t a huge activity, but it fully activated me every morning in a way nothing else does.
  • Several readers indicated that they felt like they were missing something not being familiar with the original comic strip. I assumed a slightly broader reader familiarity with Annie from other media, and part of my style at this point, I think, is to imply a wider world, a bigger story, which I do in Annie Forever by suggesting a bad bridge-burning occurred between Annie and Oliver Warbucks some time before Annie Forever, and I also failed to communicate that it was meant to feel like you’ve just… started reading and keeping up with a strip in the newspaper one day, with no meaningful way to read anything back.
    Anyway, I trust my readers can generally keep up, and if they trust me as a cartoonist at all, I hope they trust I’ll tell them about additional context they might want or need.
  • My comics production speed was always just under seven strips a week. I could easily produce two or, on a good day, even three black-and-white strips, but then life would get in the way and/or the full-colour Sunday strip would slow me down again. With time I could’ve got to a good point with that, but if I’m ever gonna do this kind of daily schedule again, I’d probably have to make a change somewhere — no Sunday, black-and-white Sunday, maybe hire a colourist for the Sunday, something would have to change about the Sunday. But my next project is pages instead of strips, probably two a week at first, so the point is moot for now, anyway.
  • That next project will not be Annie Forever, but I deliberately called the book “volume one” and I do now know what happens to Annie next. Annie WILL return.

I’ve had almost a month off now, and I miss updating regularly a lot, so I’ll just say: We’re closer to new comics than we are to Annie Forever ending.

Notes on a Multiverse #2: “You ever see that really old movie?” (“Spider-Mania”)

These stories weave through our lives like, well, webs around criminals or flies. We relate to them in different ways on different days. This summer, all eight Spider-Man movies were rereleased to cinemas.


Sunday, June 16th, 2024. We go see 2002’s Spider-Man. Having been on a few field trips with a high school class I student taught, I relate to Peter’s teacher more than I do to Peter. These kids should be more upfront with each other. And less noisy during the Oscorp employee’s presentation, yeesh.

On Thursday I practiced my final presentation, and after the movie we walked through the graduation show. I did this two years ago, and I am, in a way, transported right back there, but I already have the credits for the art bit, so I don’t have to this go around. I don’t miss it — the ideal form for my work is a website or a book, not a wall. I find myself wondering if Stan or Steve would be able to relate.1Stan, no, Steve, probably, but you try getting it out of them from behind their personalities.

It rains the whole way to the cinema, and then the whole way back.


Tuesday, June 18th, 2024. 2004’s Spider-Man 2. We go see 2004’s Spider-Man 2. On Thursday I’m giving my final presentation, so I relate to Otto, who knows he has something, but may or may not come across like Charlie from Always Sunny going the full Pepe Silvia. I relate to Harry, who feels like he’s going insane knowing what is to him a truth.

I realise everyone in these movies has the same arc; where the story is Man vs Monster, the emotional core for everyone is Man vs Self — they all have to be different versions of themselves to reconcile their inner turmoil and become their true selves. If the final presentation is the Monster to slay, was the course as a whole the Self?


Sunday, June 23rd, 2024. We took a break because I had to give my final presentation, successfully wrapping up a 2-year bachelor’s degree in art education with good grades, but we’re back, and go see 2007’s Spider-Man 3.

This morning I threw out my back again. I relate to Pete’s back issues from the last one, and to his being surrounded by way too many villains trying to kill him at once. I relate to Dr Conners never having to be the Lizard. In the Dark Pete segment, where he dances through the streets of New York, I relate to the folks it does kinda work for, actually. I wish I could be timeless like these people.

It’s getting sunnier again. It’ll be 26°C out when I get my diploma. I should get some… hand fans.


Sunday, June 30th, 2024. On Thursday I graduated with good grades. There was a speech. My legal name is late in the alphabet but they went in random order and I got to go first, which was: Nice. On Saturday, after #TARDISclub, we drove to my parents’ house for dinner in my brother’s new, first car.

And then on Sunday, we saw 2012’s The Amazing Spider-Man and 2014’s The Amazing Spider-Man 2.

In my Letterboxd reviews, I defend these movies — I think, removed from the immediacy of, oh, this is what Spider-Man movies are now, they’re good! They’re fun! They mostly work! We’ve been too harsh on them! But sitting down to write this the day after, I realise I don’t relate to them like I did the Raimi ones. Maybe it’s that they’re young people with young problems, and the people who I might relate to more get to sit these one out on the sidelines. Or maybe it’s what the first one explicitly says is the film’s main theme — the question “Who am I?”

Because where that’s something Pete struggles with… I’ve always known exactly who I am.


And that, unfortunately is where this entry has to end. We saw the MCU Spider-Man movies on Thursday, July 11th, Sunday, July 14th, and Wednesday, July 17th, 2024, but I just don’t connect to them in the same way. They diverge from my life a little, but they’re also not really… about anything.

Those movies are about Spider-Man being in the MCU now and, try as I might, I’m not in the MCU, am I.

Have any of you read the new Ultimate Spider-Man? He has a wife and kids and a job. I don’t have any of those things but I relate to him far more than I do the Pete of the MCU.

Time to move on. Such is life.


Earths encountered

  • Earth-One and its various off-shoots, where the ’92 X-Men live.
  • Earth-Two, where the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man lives.
  • Earth-Three, where the Andrew Garfield Spider-Man lives.
  • Earth-Four, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, where the Tom Holland Spider-Man lives.

The oldest draft of this post is dated May 16, 2024. It was written one section at a time between June 17 and June 30, and then got a postscript on September 24, 2024.

  • 1
    Stan, no, Steve, probably, but you try getting it out of them from behind their personalities.

Weird Soda Review: Oreo-flavoured Coke Zero

Rest assured that when I saw these in the soda aisle I immediately alerted every relevant authority, by which I mean Mastodon, David, and the family group chat.

Several cans of Limited Edition Oreo Coke Zero in a supermarket display. The can has a black and white design on it of circular Oreo-like shapes stacked to resemble a Coke bottle. They're 79 cents a can.

The Expectation

What I’m expecting is a take on a vanilla-flavoured cola, something in the cream soda zone, but with Vanilla Coke Zero literally easily available for sale right next to it, I can’t quite picture what will distinguish this from it. The can says it’s “fizzy cookie” flavoured (fizzy “cookie” flavoured?) so presumably the dark biscuit taste of the Oreo comes through in some way.

The Nose

Open, let settle, sniff. Hm. There’s a lightness in the aroma that means I might be close with my vanilla/cream expectation. There’s something else there that I can’t quite identify.

The Taste

Pour, let settle, sniff again. No new information. Let’s sip this thing.

Oh, this is really subtle. Sip. No vanilla or cream flavour, really. Sip. No, there’s some of it in here, but not a lot, it’s, somehow, mostly the cookie. Sip. They’ve somehow translated the dark Oreo cookie to the dark soda. Pour some more. Take a bigger sip, hold it in the mouth for a bit. This is weirdly subtle.

The aftertaste is reminiscent of a sweet chocolate, no, not even the aftertaste, the afterfeel, the way it coats the mouth. Yeah, now that it’s settling, what this is a lightly chocolate-flavoured cola.

Conclusion

It’s like somebody left a pile of just the cookie part of the Oreo at the bottom of a vat of cola syrup and then pretended they meant to do that. It’s not bad, it’s just not what I was expecting. I’m not sure I’ll buy these again, because they’re so subtle — I’d rather just buy some Vanilla Coke Zero.

I’m a big fan of these Creations-branded experimental flavours, and I’m glad they’ve figured out a way to do a really nuanced one after a few pretty unsubtle fruity ones.

Notes on a Multiverse #1: “Something Different In Your Genes” (1992’s “X-Men”: Season 1)

I’ve been looking for a way into a big MCU rewatch for some time now. I think I’ve found it — for a long time the thought was, real, proper essays, real, formal writing. Really sit down and write a psychochronography in spandex. But I’m not an essayist, I’m not that kind of writer, not really.1Obviously I do excel in the form when asked to do it, but let’s be honest with ourselves. I’m a cartoonist, I write adventure stories meant to be read in three to seven panels a day. I suppose I’m also: A blogger.

And so I’m gonna blog through it, with a series of pre-written, scheduled blogs inspired by this rewatch. Let’s kick that off with a big idea, a concept adjacent to the idea of canon that I’d like to lay out for you.2If this were an essay I might write up a short history of the idea of canon, shared universes, and my relationship to these ideas. But it’s not an essay! Blogs, baby! My assumed audience here already knows about this stuff!

You’ve heard about canon, now get ready for — Psychocanon.

These are the stories of the Zeitgeist, the stories we’re thinking of, and the other stories the people telling us stories want us to be thinking about.

Psychocanon exists at both a macro and a micro level, an entire franchise can have a psychocanon that overlaps with but does not encompass all of what a single, granular instalment of it has floating around it.

The ’92 X-Men cartoon gets so vigorously invoked by every brief appearance of the X-Men in the MCU now that they’re finally allowed to show up that it’s clearly psychocanonical to the MCU — Disney/Marvel Studios want you to be thinking of it every time the theme tune whispers into your ears, they want you to think of it when Charles Xavier shows up in a ’92-style wheelchair, his ’92-style costume, down to the tie. They’re invoking it at least as much as they are the Fox X-Men movies. They’ve also now just straight up brought it back with X-Men ’97.

On the other hand, take something like the Netflix Marvel shows — clearly nobody making Daredevil really wanted you to be thinking about Agents of SHIELD or Agent Carter, or even Guardians of the Galaxy or Ant-Man. When you’re watching those Netflix shows, they’re in their own little bubble — nothing, except maybe the vague idea that there are Avengers out there somewhere, is truly psychocanonical to them. But in the other direction, they are, by their inclusion of characters from Daredevil, psychocanonical to Spider-Man: No Way Home, Hawkeye, She-Hulk, etcetera. And you can pretend all you like, but clearly Helstrom isn’t psychocanonical to anything at all. 3I haven’t even heard a good case for it being the regular ol’ kind of canonical, frankly. Hi Ti.

A rewatch of the MCU psychocanon would include all the movies, including the Sony and Fox ones, all the Disney+ shows, and Green Lantern, the ’92 X-Men but not more than the first few seasons of Agents of SHIELD, and for all that it’s nice to see Jarvis pop up in Endgame, not Agent Carter, either, not really.4If Agent Carter is in it’s because of Agents of SHIELD, not because of any of the movies. Inhumans? Doesn’t exist. The Princess Bride? A keystone.

For a Doctor Who example: The original Toymaker story is clearly psychocanonical to Doctor Who 60th anniversary special The Giggle, they show clips of it as a flashback, but The Nightmare Fair and Solitaire clearly aren’t — the whole story of The Giggle is that we’re watching the second round of a best of three. Neither, for all that the specials go out of their way to remind you of the Flux and other major elements from the Chibnall era, is The Battle of Ranskoor av Kolos. Nothing that happens in that one matters to the specials, it just doesn’t. The same is true for The Krotons and Planet of Evil and the caveman bits of An Unearthly Child and hundreds of other stories — though Ranskoor av Kolos is clearly just not sticking around in the zeitgeist the way the larger story of Dr Who being adopted is.

Let’s chuck in a second and related idea: Historia.5I’m open to a better word for this idea — the one on the original post-it is “chronicanon,” but that’s clunky, awkward.

Where a canon cares about which stories count, and psychocanon cares about what those stories want you to be thinking about, a historia is concerned with the story of something.

No list of which Doctor Who stories “count” would include the Peter Cushing films, or Scream of the Shalka6This is how you can tell I wrote this in May., or The Curse of Fatal Death. But if you’re interested not in “watching all of Doctor Who” but in a broader “story of Doctor Who,” these are crucial chapters of that story — the show itself doesn’t capture Dalekmania, most Dalek stories aren’t even that good, but the Daleks were big enough in the culture that they were the main draw of two blockbuster films, Scream of the Shalka was “new Doctor Who” a year and a half before Rose was, and the entire Moffat era is to The Curse of Fatal Death as, in the words of Douglas Adams, “the whole of creation—every Galaxy, every sun, every planet, their orbits, their composition, and their economic and social history” is to “one small piece of fairy cake.”

So what’s “the story of the MCU,” what’s its historia? As I write this, on 5 May, 2024, I haven’t really laid down a roadmap for it yet. I will, and it’ll be the subject of a future post, but I haven’t done it yet. But I know where it starts.

Now, you could go further back than I do. Just writing this, I’ve realised there’s at least one thing I should cover from before where I’ve started. There’s nothing stopping you saying, the historia of the MCU starts at the first performed adaptation of a Marvel comic — the 1944 Captain America serial, where Captain America is a District Attorney called Grant Gardner. Nothing in the MCU, no real part of it, really builds on it, but you could probably make the argument for it.

But the argument I’d like to make is this, and I’m gonna keep this simple. It’s March 1990. Having championed the otherwise unsuccessful Pryde of the X-Men pilot, Margaret Loesch, the head of Fox Children’s Network, commissions thirteen episodes of an X-Men cartoon. It does very well, and inspired by its success, Lauren Schuler Donner at 20th Century Fox buys the film rights, and finally, after decades of various attempts by various studios and filmmakers that all ended in development hell, brings the X-Men to the big screen with 2000’s X-Men. The success of that film convinces Sony the Spider-Man concept can carry a film, which it does, in 2002, after Sony buys the rights for a mere $7 million. The success of these films together — and the… different amount of success enjoyed by films like Hulk and Daredevil — is why Avi Arad goes to Marvel and says, let’s do this properly.

So how does a multiverse start? How does a… good multiverse start? Hell, how do you start a universe. Just a regular one seems to be hard to do on purpose. So how does a multiverse start? Definitely not in a board room that sets out to start a multiverse. That can only lead to disaster. It’s more likely to start by accident. For someone to make one thing that… mutates into another thing. Maybe, just maybe… It starts with a girl’s foster parents calling the authorities on her, and with her wondering how she, dressed the most like a main character anyone has ever dressed, could be so different as to warrant it. Maybe, just maybe… It starts with mutants.

(Thanks, Margaret.)

Earths encountered:

  • Earth-One — The X-Men ’92 home universe.
    • Earth-One-A — Days of Future Past ’92 — X-Men ’92’s Bishop’s home timeline.7Though the Days of Future Past future is usually presented as the future of the universe it’s related to, the story of Days of Future Past is the story of making sure the events we see depicted never happen.
      • Earth-One-A-A — The one Bishop creates by going back to Earth-One from Earth-One-A and saving Senator Kelly, in which Senator Kelly then gets kidnapped, anyway.
        • Earth-One-A-A-A — Only implied so far, Cable’s home timeline, the one Bishop creates by trying again from Earth-One-A-A.

The earliest draft of this post is dated March 8, 2024. 56 words of that first draft have made it to this final 1465-word blog post. It was finished on May 5, 2024, with a final round of edits to prepare it for publication on July 20, 2024.

  • 1
    Obviously I do excel in the form when asked to do it, but let’s be honest with ourselves.
  • 2
    If this were an essay I might write up a short history of the idea of canon, shared universes, and my relationship to these ideas. But it’s not an essay! Blogs, baby! My assumed audience here already knows about this stuff!
  • 3
    I haven’t even heard a good case for it being the regular ol’ kind of canonical, frankly. Hi Ti.
  • 4
    If Agent Carter is in it’s because of Agents of SHIELD, not because of any of the movies.
  • 5
    I’m open to a better word for this idea — the one on the original post-it is “chronicanon,” but that’s clunky, awkward.
  • 6
    This is how you can tell I wrote this in May.
  • 7
    Though the Days of Future Past future is usually presented as the future of the universe it’s related to, the story of Days of Future Past is the story of making sure the events we see depicted never happen.

I’ve adopted an orphan.

And she’s about to celebrate her 100th birthday.

Two panels from Annie Forever. In the first, a silhouetted figure with a beard and hat is hiding from Annie on stairs. In the second, she's chasing the silhouetted figure through a room with computers in it.
You and the comic you know I’ve been drawing for like a year without posting it.

That’s right — my next comics project is a 100th anniversary tale for Annie, of Harold Gray’s Little Orphan Annie, the earliest years of which are in the public domain. The strip is called Annie Forever, and is set to run from June 13th to August 5th — from the fourteenth anniversary of the strip’s final instalment to the hundredth of its first. (It’s likely to run a little longer.)

If all you know Annie from is various versions of her musical, you might be surprised to learn that I feel strongly that Annie is one of comics’ great adventure characters — she’s plucky, she’s funny, she has a mean streak, and can do whatever she sets her mind to — but I also feel strongly that more modern incarnations of the strip, as well as the various versions of the musical, have largely wasted that aspect of her character. By the end of her own strip she’s a supporting character to more typical heroic leads, in her musical she’s precocious, a little kid. Though I can’t legally reference these versions, I am playing off them — Annie Forever is my attempt to transition her back to a place from which she could have another century of adventures… in which she‘s in charge.

You can find the first strip at annie.alexdaily.nl today — and then a new one every day starting tomorrow, on the 14th. I update after breakfast.

About Alex Daily

Alex Daily is a licensed cartoonist who’s about to graduate a bachelor’s degree in art education with good grades. Their previous work includes NoirtownUNEND, and Aquila the Last Eagle, but their most-seen work is probably a logo for an American middle school you’ve never heard of. They long to return to the sea after centuries of exile.

About the public domain

I swear to breakfast I’m pretty confident this is completely legal, dear the syndicate please don’t sue me.

Review: “Rebel Moon — Part Two: The Scargiver” (2024)

Also on my Letterboxd, and a sequel to my review of the first one.

cover the second half of this film.

Look, I don’t want to accuse Mr Snyder of anything, but if I thought there was any kind of coherent ideology to this beyond “Star Wars and Seven Samurai are cool and Netflix will give me $166 million American dollaridoos to make a 2-part 5-hour remix of them,” I’d be extremely suspicious of a lot of what’s going on here. That the planet is called “Veldt,” for one.

The shift of focus from, in the first one, a competent adult who knows what she needs to do, to, well, the gang she’s assembled just… doing it, really highlights the extent to which this has not a single original idea going for it. Where this could’ve been a take on Luke Skywalker, blazing with righteous fury at the injustices of the world around him, finally doing something about it, instead it all just serves to reinforce the cold, oppressive, authoritarian bleakness Mr Snyder has so consistently forced upon the culture around him. It’s all just unpleasant.

The film truly never makes a case for her quest, or for anything at all, beyond that that’s simply what you do in one of these. She doesn’t need to learn anything to achieve her goals, she simply knows who to reach out to and does so. Space Nazis line up their Stormtroopers because that’s what they do in Star Wars, her gang trains the people of Veldt because that’s what they do in Seven Samurai. Cary Elwes gets stabbed by two dozen men in togas because he’s supposed to be Ceasar. You’ve seen every part of this before.

And so she plods ever onwards, taking her team back home to her South African-coded home moon — which she and her gang successfully defend, saving the world’s most generic day from the world’s most generic antagonist, generically. What happens next in this world? Is Kora now equipped for future attacks? If Mr Snyder cares, the impression doesn’t come across. I’m baffled by the idea that anyone would want to find out.

Truly, this is Zack Snyder’s Rebel Moon — Part Two: The Scargiver, in which the picture’s equivalent of Luke Skywalker achieves the quest she sets out on, exactly like you expect she will, in the exact ways you know she will. I don’t remember exactly where the first one ended, but let’s just say there’s a reason this kind of story doesn’t usually get split into parts like this.

A mistake George Lucas makes in the 90s is he starts using character tropes from the old film serials he enjoyed in his childhood too uncritically, too un-remixed — the bumbling local, the sniveling merchant, the conniving bankers — and so they end up too close to those originals for comfort, and come across as racist clichés. Mr Snyder, really, makes a very similar mistake. All of these parts work in their obvious primary source, and all of these parts work in other movies all the time. But where with Lucas you can feel the fondness, the admiration, the love — here it feels cynical, cold, calculated. There’s no heart here.

I feel about Mr Snyder’s work like most cats do about going to the vet, every now and then they come out and you can tell it wasn’t that bad, but most of the time they go in reluctantly and come out knowing damn well somebody just did something to their nethers without their consent. And 2024’s Rebel Moon — Part Two: The Scargiver is the exact cultural spaying and neutering it looks like.

A real movie to vacuum during. I mean, I vacuumed earlier, but

Weird Soda Review: Coke Zero “K-Wave”

My hand, holding a can of Coke Zero K-Wave in front of the window for lighting purposes. It's an energy drink-style can, with a pastel purple to green gradient design and Korean characters on it.The problem with finding weird sodas like this is I’m only really looking at the soft drinks aisle when I’m in the mood for something brown and fizzy to drink, so I buy these, put them in the fridge, and end up keeping them in there for a week, not even drinking then when I’m thirsty, because I figure, no, I should do this properly, I should do a review. Such was the case with this can of Coca-Cola Zero Sugar Creations: K-Wave Limited Edition, which makes no big claims on the can itself but is apparently inspired by K-Pop.

Once again, I truly do not know what that could possible mean.

Let’s get to it.

Expectations

I don’t listen to K-Pop — if you say “BTS” to me I will assume you’re talking about a behind-the-scenes featurette of some kind, not four to seven randomly generated young men. If this is meant to taste like that kind of music, or, like the kind of thing a fan of that kind of music would like, well, I’m expecting a flavour that’s bright and loud in front with very, very little depth to it.

So unless it tastes like boys something fruity, I guess.

The Nose

I’ve opened the can and will now take a whiff of it. To enhance the experience, I’ve also popped on some BTS on Spotify. On first sniff, this is different than the 3000, lighter. My first thought is perfume, flower smells. Slightly artificial. All of this not in a nasty way. It sits in the nose pleasantly, but leaves it quickly.

The Taste

Time to sip.

Hm. It’s a more complex blend of fruit flavours — yeah, definitely fruit flavours — that’s a little hard to unpick. My first thought is of the light sourness of apple-flavoured candy, but as it sits in the mouth what comes forward is the flavour of banana candy. That raspberry idea from the 3000 is kind of here, but where that was “the shape of raspberry flavour without raspberry flavour,” here that’s maybe been filled in with, well, apples and bananas.

I take back the thing I said about a lack of depth, there’s a real aftertaste development here. That development is reminiscent of mouthwash more than anything, but still, that’s a layered flavour.

Conclusion

Overall, from flowers to a simple fruit basket to mouthwash, it’s kind of a weird blend. Not unpleasant, and with a sweetness that I suppose fits the K-Pop thing, probably. I wouldn’t know, I’ve clicked through this Spotify playlist looking for something that sounds like music made by people instead of robots and have struggled to find any.

If you liked the 3000, you’ll probably like this one. I’d recommend maybe keeping a taste you like nearby to wash it down with, though. I’m gonna throw back some M&Ms, I think.

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